Ants in Your Pants

by Tiffany
(Deliciously Thin)

Don't laugh - I really need a pedicure (and my shoe back!)

Don't laugh - I really need a pedicure (and my shoe back!)

July 29, 2010

...okay...not ants in my pants, but try ants in shoes. Not just ants, but fire ants!

A friend and I were talking the other day about series of events that happen and lead to a specific outcome, and if any one of those events had not taken place, the outcome would be different.

I thought long and hard about what my first confession was going to be on this page. I wanted it to be deep and thought provoking. Sorry folks, the fire ants won. Tune in another day, and maybe you'll luck out.

For your pleasure, a tale of how my leg was devoured by fire ants.

The first link in today's chain of events was a friend who held me down and threatened my life if I didn't step up my workouts. Reluctantly, but fearful of leaving my little boy motherless, I agreed, and put myself through a grueling 1 hour of weights, steps, and cardio. Pay attention now - I left on my shoes - a rare occurrence because I always go barefoot (or with sandals.) I never wear real shoes!

Next - it's been raining off and on for a couple days, which keeps me from my normal afternoon activity of basking in the sun while in the pool. Two whole days, and I'm certainly experiencing withdrawal.

I recalled how last time it rained, the pool got really nasty full of tiny bugs, and so I went outside to survey the situation. It was indeed full of tiny bugs and leaves. Picking up the skimmer, I worked my way around the pool from the edge trying to get as many bugs out as possible without getting in.

Suddenly I felt fire on my leg, only to look down and see my entire sock and shoe covered with fire ants. Imagine a leap and scream as I frantically pull off my shoe and socks while trying to turn on water hose and rinse the little (bleep) from me.

My fire ant infested shoe now sits on the patio accompanied by one wet sock - where it will stay until I figure out what to do with it - or until the ants decide to abandon ship.

Now had my friend not threatened my life earlier, I would not have been wearing shoes when I wondered out to see the pool. Had I not been wearing shoes and socks, my entire foot would have consumed by fire ants rendering it completely useless for days...maybe weeks.

As it stands, I got away with only 6 or 7 bites (which is enough I swear) and am free to continue workouts that promise to reshape my body in one day! I'll let ya know how that's working out for me.

However I still only have 1 shoe!

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